A Nelly remix? Okay guys. I think we can agree that it’s getting a little ridiculous now.
“I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence. And your heart.”
Fixed it.
Red Solo Cup
Label Guy: “Toby, we want you to do a song about Red Solo Cups.”
Toby Keith: “What the hell are those?”
Label Guy: “They’re plastic cups that the kids use for drinking games, like… that game where they try to shoot ping pong balls into cups full of beer.”
Toby Keith: “You mean the plastic cups people use at picnics?”
Label Guy: “Yeah. But the kids also use them to play that game where you drink the beer in the cup and then try to flip the cup upside-down.”
Toby Keith: “Never heard of it.”
Label Guy: “We think sales from the single would be huge. The college kids will blare it at their lame basement parties while playing one of those cup-based drinking games. The rednecks will REALLY dig it. They’ll probably play it wherever.”
Toby Keith: “And I’ll look like one of the guys, even though I’m a millionaire and will have no idea what the hell I’m singing about.”
Label Guy: “Exactly.”
Toby Keith: “Okay. What’s next?”
Label Guy: “I’ll get on the phone with the country-western aural laboratory and have them assemble a folksy arrangement, which we’ll focus test on groups at several speedways during NASCAR season. I’ll also get in touch with my country lyrics guy and have him write something about Red Solo Cups and partying that a third grader could understand. We’ll then fuse the two and test the song one last time at a Fox News Republican debate.”
Toby Keith: “Oh, speaking of that… can you get the lyrics guy to add something controversial that reminds everyone that I’m a conservative country singer?”
Label Guy: “Absolutely.”
Toby Keith: “Fuck yeah.”
Mirror, mirror on the wall…
…who’s the fairest of them all?
Seriously? HER? Not…
HER? REALLY? Really. Okay then.
Are you absolutely, positively sure, Mirror?
Okay.
Wrong answer.
Quick Five
- The year is 2011, not 11. Today is 11/11/2011. We’re 2000 years past the actual cool-looking date. Nonetheless, numerous companies are taking advantage.
- A riot, according to CNN:
- You just know that Mashable was looking for any reason to post about this story. Ashton Kutcher finally gave them one.
- Rick Perry’s run at the presidency is as good as dead.
- I can’t name the fifth item. Oops.
Gaddafi dies but revives a fashion movement
Michelle Bachmann will carry on his legacy.
Twitter stuff that crushes my soul
People Are Talking About Me Because I’m Important-Retweet
@smexpert: Headed out for lunch with @socialninjaguru
Retweeted by @socialninjaguru
Thanks for letting me know that someone in the world was mentioning you on a social network.
Life = complete.
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Retweeting Your Retweets
@smexpert: RT @socialninjaguru: Five Ways Your Dog’s Stool is Like Social Media http://shorturlthing.ly/r5ando4mcha9rs
Retweeted by @socialninjaguru
More you. Super. Is getting your content viewed worth annoying the shit out of everyone? Just asking.
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Retweeting Your Follow Fridays
@smexpert: #FF @socialninjaguru @tweetfetish @facetwitpluster @ROIrony
Retweeted by @socialninjaguru
MY GOD, HOW NARCISSISTIC ARE YOU?!
